Today...I know how it feels like to be sitting in front of Seahorse facing my patrol i grew up in. Today...I know how it feels like to teach Seahorse stuff i have learnt over the past two years...like sticking together as a patrol...do not leave any behind...you never know when they may just collapse...Today I had my 1st hand experience on being Seahorse PL...i know my limits and i thank for that opportunity i might never have again...go on Seahorse...strive towards your fullest potential...after today...although some of your performances were not satisfactory...but i could see your potential...the potential to be best patrol...go for it!
i love you,,
10:11 pm
Reality is in my face...when will i accept it...realities are there for you to accept but i aint...i sld be...i got to...this is just...simply...killing me...i gotta let go...i must...for if i do not...more suffering will occur...doesnt matter wat happens to me...but i cant see me causing u anymore misery... i love you,,
10:46 am
Life will never will be the same...today's the worst day of my life...and tomorrow will never come...when will this end...is it after i die...everytime i see u...a knife pierces my heart...why does it have to be like this...y must i be such a fag...why am i getting in ur life...y cant i just screw off...y isit everytime i shut my eyes i see your face...every moment im awake i think of you...every second im alive i feel empty inside me...you shouldnt be seeing this...you shouldnt feel some sort of guiltiness(if u even are) coz it's basically all my fault im like this...i cant see you sad...i'll live the rest of the week in darkness...i cant see you cry...i'll bleed inside profusely...i gotta see you smile...to brighten my week ahead...i gotta see you over the moon...to make my sun shine brightly...but i should just screw those thoughts away...i gotta get them out...i have to get out of your life...so that you would have one pest less to worry about...somebody just give me a brain concussion or something...knock you outta my head...or dig my heart out...so i wunt be able to feel anything...tht'll do...any takers...you...yea u who hates me to the core...come on...i know u wanna...gimme a hard knock on my head...and make it real hard...in case i dun lose these memories and thoughts and have a wound to tend to instead...or dig my heart out n make sure u get it on the 1st try...an internal wound is enough...i wun be able to take another on the outside...a wound that will never be heeled on repeatedly stabbed over and over again...but as long as i can make you feel better...i dun mind stabbing it with my own hands... i love you,,
9:59 pm
