Artist: Jesse Mccartney
Song: Just So You Know
Album: Right Where You Want Me 2006
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
[Chorus]
~End~
I love this song...is simply one of the best song ever...
i love you,,
8:22 pm
How great when life get when ur CCA is giving u freaking lots of pressure...u get played round random ppl fingers...u cant figure out things u desperately wanna noe...ppl start ap-ing or get weird or get pissed off at u for some random reason...u cant sleep when u are damn tired coz many things r up u head...u cant concentrate in class due to loss of slp and those stuff are still stuck up there..juniors ap...n...n...aww acrew all that crap...somebody just freaking kill me...i cant take this life much longer...yea...i noe many of u reading this wldnt mind killing me...well...come on...i dun think my 2 cuts on my finger due to and axe and some random stuff wld kill me so yea...some1 just put me out of my misery...those who wan to see me in it rather then me dead...well...good for u...as u can see here...i really just die then be typing this here but there are just so many things holding me back at the same time pushing me to feeling tht i sld just go and die...or sth...or get concussion and just forget who i am and let a new life...no wait...i dun even have 1 to start with...it was lost long ago...it's like...just...damn...aw screw it...some one please put me out of my misery...put the knife/saw/parang/bullet/axe/spear/sword etc. through me...anything but all these misery...i dun wan such a life anymore...
i love you,,
10:54 pm
got this frm pearl's blog who got this from yvon
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 11-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are full of crap.
I fear ...
[ ] black people
[ ] the dark
[X] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[X] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water
[X] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[X]failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[X] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[X] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[X] crossing hanging bridges
[X] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed/mugged
[X] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors
[X] tornadoes
[X] hurricanes
[X] incurable diseases
[X] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[X] ghosts
[X] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] being alone
[X] becoming blind
[X] becoming deaf
[X] growing up, old
[X] creepy noises in the night
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[X] needles
[ ] blood
total: 22
I'm Paranoid...and i know i am...cool...
Sitong...all of us are rooting for u...u better get well if not me and the rest of the bros will kai u...:X...jkjk...haha...just get well soon...XD
i love you,,
10:13 pm
Write the names of 21 friends you can think off the top of your head, and then answer the questions. Say you’re guessing if you don’t know, but at least guess on all of them. After doing this, tag your 21 friends to do the same.---
1. Sitong
2. Timothy
3. Wei Chia
4. Hongyi
5. Pearl
6. JY
7. Wilson
8. Zhangyang
9. Mark
10.Yichen
11.Vivenne
12.Shulin
13.Haonan
14.Huijun
15.Amanda Lee
16.Amanda Cheng
17.Yiyun
18.Yiru
19.Jiawen(yeap....if u're reading this...doesen't mean u go canada i forget u XD)
20.Jieyu
21.Justin Qwan
*How did you meet 7? (Wilson)
DHS...classmates in year 1 and year 2
*What would you do if you and 15 had never met? (Amanda Lee)
eh...duno...nth...?...:X
*What would you do if 20 and 1 dated? ( Jieyu and sitong?! )
eh...OMG?!...but i'll be happy for my bro? haha
*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple? (Hongyi and Amanda Cheng )
nah...1 hyper kia and i quiet one...
*Do you want to be 13's friend forever?(Haonan)
Y not? he's nice...XD
*Do you think 11 is attractive?(Vivenne)
eh...nah...but to...umhmmm...sld be...haha
*What’s 5’s favorite color? (Pearl)
Green? haha
*When was the last time you talked to 9?(Mark)
on msn yesterday...in person ah...eh...thursday i think so...
*Who is 13 going out with? ( Haonan )
with himself...haha...jkjk
*Would you ever date 17? (Yiyun)
???!!!nah...i can live without dating her...lol...
*Where does 18 live?(Yiyun)
Serangoon...
*What is the best thing about 4? (Hongyi)
He's quiet when it sldn't be noisy and fun to be with...(:
*What would you like to tell 10 right now?(Yichen)
Hope we same patrol for PLTC...XD
*What is the best thing about 20? ( Jieyu )
eh...responsible?
*Have you ever kissed 2?( Timo )
?! Nah...but i wouldn't mind Sitong...haha...jkjk
*What’s the best memory you have of 5?( Pearl )
eh...hmm...602 gatherings and the times we were all in 602/502? lol...
*How is 7 different from 6? (JY and Wilson)
One is tall...one is short
One wears specs...one does not
One is normal...the other is mentally unstable
One i would say is mature...the other is 3-years-old...:X
One is human...the other is charcoal...
(all on the left is JY and the right wilson...as if not obvious enuf...)
tht's all for tht thing...now...my dear bro,Sitong...in the pic at ur blog..u look pale and sick and u are worrying me ok bro...get well soon then we can have fun and go out...get well then say...and of course...i know it's hard but...try to get over it...k bro...?...XD...
i love you,,
10:51 pm
Somebody just kill me...i'm thinking and thinking and thinking of u and i'm getting a terrible headache...n i feel like breaking down and just....screw it...this is pointless and useless and completely retarded and y am i so crazy over u...but i just cant stop this feeling...unless maybe i sld delete ur number...block/delete u on msn...transfer sch in which i sldnt even be here in the first place...this misery is just completely painful and hurting and it's like putting a knife slowly but firecely into my heart and like my mind is gona go inside out...i'm going sleepless and stupid dreams with u in it...this is getting plain stupid and retarded...so just...argh...screw this all...maybe i'll just go commit suicide...
i love you,,
6:50 pm
somewhere during the 2nd term of 2008: I went to 2G to find timo and weichia and manicini asking them to go for lunch together at macs...all agreed and sitong asked to go along since he was close frens with timo and weichia and he persuaded them to go along anw...then...i remembered that my impression of him was that he was some pai kia gangster who has sucky grades and only has basketball in his mind. After that day, which was the day we first had an actual chat...i realised that he wasnt that bad after all...i began to hang out with him as well...
term 3-4 2008: In the morning before flag raising, i would drop by at 2G once in a while to find the guys to hang out with...i soon learnt that sitong would frequent the piano almost every morning and he plays beautiful songs and when u see him play, sitong=pai kia wldnt even make sense anymore, especially him with glasses that i would see once in a while. I also learnt he's a huge Jay Chou fan and is well...a almost complete mugger...XD...I began to play bball with them and have lunch together once in a while etc. going to 2G in the morning became more frequent.
Term 1 2009: Me and sitong became much closer despite not really talking each other for 2-3 months and this year, i just felt closer to him. Began to have lots of fun around him and barely frowned/emo-ed watsoever when he was around. Began to like him more and more.
Today: He showed me how important i was to him...today...he rathered spent the whole afternoon with me helping him with _________ rather then timo and weichia or hongyi etc. I felt even closer...felt his heart go at 1000000miles/hr, did him favours, gave him some advice, told him my taughts, teased him, watched him make a fool of himself, watched him say stuff that didnt go through his head coz he was nervous
e.g.
Me-weijie: Sitong very nervous now...haha...
Weijie-Sitong: Y u so nearvous? u running meh?
Sitong-Weijie: *Glares at me**I laugh at him* eh...er...2mr taking test!*walks away**weijie ??? on his face**i laugh*
lastly, watched him on the verge of crying and trying to drown himself by dribbling ball and learning chengyu...comforted him and gave him encouragements...seeing him like tht somehow made me damn hurt...and i really teared for him...maybe coz i saw myself in him 2day...i never thought he was so emotional...maybe coz i couldnt bear seeing him suffering like that...no matter wat...he ruined my mood for the rest of the evening...later...i cheered him on and gave him somemore encouragement and he gave me a reply tht brightened my night...'today i found a true friend'...and today..sitong...I too have found a true friend...XD Cheer up!
i love you,,
10:43 pm
2day...hmm...eh...did chinese file content page...erm...stayed back for maintanece of patrol equipment which is not done yet n i have to organise more jihes...after tht played and watched table-tennis with sitong ,jon,hongyi and sitong like loose form...lol...then went home and met wilson and his choir ppl then ppl got off the bus and left me wilson and yiting and wilson claimed yiting was his like 20times...went home with them reached home, bathed, revised chem,ate dinner and now here...XD
i love you,,
9:30 pm
A quiz from pl’s blog which claims that she took it from Christine’s blog though I can’t find it there…lol…
Rules: It's harder than it looks!
Copy to your own post, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag twenty people.Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real...nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
1. What is your name: Bryan
2. A four Letter Word: Best!
3. A boy's Name: Hmm…Beng Hwee!
4. A girl's Name: eh…Belle?
5. An occupation: eh…this is hard…erm…Biologist!(but I dun take bio…lol)
6. A colour: Blue
7. Something you'll wear: Blue Jeans? haha
9. A food: Beans…though I dun eat them but…yea…lol
10. Something found in the bathroom: eh…Brush(toothbrush to be exact...XD)
11. A place : Bank
12. A reason for being late : eh…Bus left without me…
13. Something you'd shout : But…but…but why?!(lol…quoted from Lawyer…)
14. A movie title : k..i searched this up and found “Bryan Loves You” is a movie…-.-…k…if tht doesn’t count…Balls Of Fury!
15. Something you drink : -.-…erm…Balls shake…no…erm….Bottled Mint green tea!
16. A musical group : Backstreet Boys!
17. An animal : Bear! (RawR!)
18. A street name : Baghdad Street…lol…
19. A type of car : BMW!
20. The title of a song : Beautiful Soul(nice song…)/Because You Live(better song)…haha
erm...
I'll tag:
1)You who visits my blog
2) You who tags at my blog
3) You who turns on the com
4)You who opens internet explorer
5) You who opens Firefox
6)You who will turn off your com
7)You who is looking at this screen
8)You who are at home
9)You who are not at home
10) Simply YOU!
i love you,,
10:43 pm
Went home with Sitong, Haonan, Mark and ZhangYang 2day...erm...quite a entertaining trip on the train wif sitong and haonan...and im broke for 2mr...and im damn sian...bored...emo...etc.
i love you,,
6:43 pm
